Deanna Hoak

SFWA just released the final ballot for the 2009 Nebula Awards, and there is an enormous amount of good fiction on it. I was lucky enough to get to copyedit three of the nominees this year: two of the novels (China Miéville’s The City & The City and Cherie Priest’s Boneshaker) and a novelette (Paolo Bacigalupi’s “The Gambler,” from Pyr’s Fast Forward 2 anthology, edited by Lou Anders).

And I have many friends I didn’t copyedit who have novels and stories on the ballot as well. I’m excited for all of them. :)

I was telling China Miéville teasingly that I felt like “the pipeline of awesome” with this year’s Nebula ballot (which phrase I stole from author Blake Charlton, who described me that way earlier this month when I told him what all I’d been working on), and he responded, “You totally are! You’re the funnel that en-awesomes the merely good!” China’s just being sweet–the books are awesome when I see them, and I just make sure they’re polished to their most beautiful before they head out to the world–but it was fun to hear anyway. :)

So Evan, who just turned seven, asked me the other night if I would be his Valentine, and tonight he made me a creation from Legos that he says is his Valentine’s Day present to me.

I asked Evan to tell me about his creation, and this is what he said:

He’s, like, a ground-cave type, and he came from like a different planet that would take three thousand million million centuries to get to that world, and nine hundred days. And he came from planet Destroy. And he was the master of all things, and he is actually a robotic thing that this alien created–this giant robot that an alien created–and the giant alien’s name was Kanlent. And the robot’s name was Corsessian. And the drinks on their planet, they’re actually really really dangerous, so they actually drink other aliens’ blood. Kanlent is the toughest good guy in the whole entire galaxy.

This guy has a chainsaw, two backup guns, and he has guns in his front, and I couldn’t find the man, but I put an escape pod in it for him anyway, so if he gets destroyed, the man can escape. And this [the round thing] is if someone runs really really fast like Sonic, then the neck goes faster than anything, so that, like, it can shoot, and then so he can throw a net that follows the person, and it will catch him, and then he can shoot the person. And this [the green center console] is the grenade launcher, with two super-super power crystals, and it can shoot one thousand million million infinity grenades. And then he has a half-gun, half-slammer–like a really really tough hammer–and the escape pod is unlimited, so that it doesn’t need any gas and it’s an autopilot. On the other side is the extra gun in case the other two guns get destroyed, then it has an extra gun. And he can jump up, and he can ground-slam the floor, so like a bad guy would die.

Kanlent made him out of dangerous crystals and hard hard hard hard rock. And he [Corsessian] could destroy anything. He could even destroy the biggest ape in the whole wide world, bigger than the whole galaxy. And even if it had really really really really sharp teeth, and it has a big-enough foot to destroy nine thousand T-rexes with one foot and he’s beposed to destroy the aliens and the alien is actually a good guy, and he’s after this really really really bad guy, and he’s actually getting his thing prepared to go out of his cave, because that’s his safest place, and he’s getting ready–he’s getting all his tools and stuff out–and his robotic little panel that turns into his own laboratory, with like potions and experiments and robots and lots of powerful weapons for his robots–then he could do it.

And the bad guy’s name is Orlasset. And Orlasset looks like a half-wolf, half-mummy, and if you look into his eyes, then it’s either you would be turned to stone forever, or you would be his slave forever. So the good guy’s still thinking how to not be his slave, so he wouldn’t turn into stone or be his slave, and he is like the toughest first baddest guy in the whole entire galaxy. Orlasset has his own robot too. His robot has sharp sharp claws, and they’re gonna see which robot wins, to be the toughest, the king of the world, because no one ever defeated any of them, of their guys, so they’re going to see who wins, and it’s probably gonna be the good guy.

The people that come to the good guy’s cave are Orlasset’s minions, and one time his toughest soldier–Orlasset’s toughest soldier–came to the really really good guy’s cave to destroy the robot, and it took him [Corsessian] like a minute to destroy him [Orlasset's soldier], because he [Orlasset's soldier] was really really tough, but not tough enough. But Orlasset’s soldier is robotic, and he can make more of him–just like if someone looked in his eyes, then he wouldn’t be captured–so he’s packing up.

Could any mom ask for a better present? :)

The deadline for nominating for the Nebula Awards (which will be held about 15 minutes away from me this year, in Cocoa Beach–I hope to see you there!) is next Monday, February 15. If you are a SFWA member and haven’t already done so, sign in to SFWA.org and fill out your Nebula Nomination Ballot.

I see several of the books I’ve copyedited on the informal preliminary ballot already, which is exciting. My first short story, “The Robidermist’s Steed,” (published in The Anthology of Dark Wisdom in October 2009) is eligible for nomination as well. If you would like to take a look at it for consideration, you can find it in the SFWA Fiction 2009 Short Story forum, or drop me a note. :-)

So I really don’t watch sports, but I have been glancing over at the Super Bowl now and then. I have to say, and this is my only comment on it, that from a copyeditor’s perspective, that commercial with Chevy Chase and the “It’s complementary with an ‘e’; it’s not free” line is absolutely freaking hilarious.

Yes, I realize what a geek that makes me. Really, if you read here you already knew that.

Here’s a pic of my daughter and our sweet but almost too-smart ridgeback, Valentine, enjoying the game together.

Hope your team won! ;-)

William Jones, the editor of The Anthology of Dark Wisdom, in which my first story, “The Robidermist’s Steed,” appears, has posted that the anthology has been recommended for a Bram Stoker Award. He notes that a recommendation does not mean the anthology has a full nomination yet, but it is still exciting news. I’m keeping my fingers crossed for it and hope that it does well.

If you haven’t seen already, the Nebula Awards Weekend will be in Cocoa Beach, May 13-16, scheduled over a shuttle launch weekend. The hotel is actually only twenty minutes from my home, so I’ve been helping SFWA with some of the planning.

If you’re an industry pro, you really should think about coming out for the Nebulas. You get Cocoa Beach in May (the hotel is actually right on the beach), the camaraderie of your fellow industry folk, and the chance to see a shuttle launch all in one tax-deductible package. It’s hard to get much better than that. :)

I’ll continue to help SFWA with any local concerns here, and if any of you have any questions, don’t hesitate to ask. I hope to see some of you here!

We’re coming to the end of January, and a lot of my friends have made resolutions to lose weight in the coming year. I had started a blog post a long while ago about how to maintain a healthy weight, but I never put it up for a variety of reasons, primarily because I’m not a dietician or nutritionist and so was skeptical that people would find value in what I have to say. What I am, however, is a logic-based research nut who’s managed to maintain a very nice body at the age of 43, even after giving birth to two healthy-sized babies who are now seven and eleven, and I’ve decided (with the encouragement of John Scalzi–thanks, John) to post this anyway. I hope that people find it useful.

These aren’t rules about calories or about what you can’t eat. This is not a diet. (And it’s not about exercise, which is also important but would be a whole different blog post.) It’s nothing more than a set of healthy dietary habits to help you listen to your body but avoid being ruled by it. I could probably go on about any one of these habits for pages, but I’ll try to keep my comments about them brief for now.

My first bits of advice are especially applicable to anyone who works at home or sits at a desk all day.

Never bring more than a handful of food to your desk.
This is really a very big deal, and it’s not hard to implement. You should never keep food at your desk, and you should not bring more than a single handful of food to your desk at once to eat immediately. Even if you are certain you’re going to eat three handfuls of food, bring only one to your desk. If you want another, get up and get it. Even if the food is only a few steps away, the act of having to get up will help you realize whether you’re truly hungry, because at some point you’re going to decide that you’re just not hungry enough to get up and get yet another handful. If you have an entire bowl or bag of food in front of you, you can eat unthinkingly, and in order to maintain a healthy weight, you must eliminate unthinking eating.

Always keep a large glass of water at your desk.
Even if you are fond of zero-calorie sodas, you need to focus on drinking water instead. Artificial sweeteners have been proven to promote weight gain by making you more hungry, and your body needs water. The way to increase your water intake is not to make yourself force it down as though it were medicine, but to make water the most convenient drink available. Just as you should have no food at your desk, the only beverage at your desk should be a large glass of water. This does not preclude you from getting up and having a small glass of something else if you prefer; just be careful with liquids, because there’s evidence that your body doesn’t achieve satiety from the calories in them in the same way that it does calories from food.

Exercise restraint at the grocery store, where it’s easiest.
Junk food should be something you buy occasionally, as a treat, and not every time you visit the grocery store. Once it’s in the house, it is far too easy to eat, and much harder to say no to. Neither you nor your kids nor your significant other need junk food in order to make you healthy or happy. If a significant other insists on keeping junk in the house, they need to buy it on their own, and you need to treat it as theirs only: a roommate’s food that you don’t touch.

Buy healthy snacks and make sure they are convenient to eat.
Part of the problem with junk food is that it is so damned handy–it’s very little work to grab a bag of chips if you’re hungry. You have to make sure that the healthy foods you buy can compete with junk food for convenience, whether through choosing convenient items like cheese sticks and yogurt and easy-to-peel tangerines or by taking the time to put the food in easy-access form when you get home from shopping. If you like melons, for instance, be sure to peel them and cut them up into cubes when you get home, so that they’re ready to eat when you are. The most convenient snacks in your home should also be the healthiest.

Junk food you do have in the house should be out of sight, and any food in plain view should be healthy.
If you see a food you like, you are likely to want to eat it, even when you’re not particularly hungry. Having your favorite but unhealthy snacks is plain view is going to cause you to eat more of them: You see it; it looks good; you want it. Keep junk food out of sight, and any food that you see as you walk into your kitchen should be good for you.

If you eat dinner at a restaurant, save enough for your lunch the next day.
It’s a rare American restaurant that doesn’t serve dinner portions large enough to get both a lunch and dinner from. When you eat dinner out, you should save enough food on your plate to take home for your lunch the next day, thereby extending the enjoyable meal. If you are still hungry when you’ve eaten your dinner portion, get a dessert to share with the table!

Learn to listen to your body.
Eat when you are hungry, and stop eating when you are not hungry anymore. This sounds so simple, and it’s so important, and yet it is the one issue that people have the most trouble with. You should not let yourself be hungry, but you should also not try to get “full”–the goal is simply to not be hungry anymore. If you eat a few handfuls of food and find that you’re hungry again half an hour later, then eat another handful of food, keeping in mind that your food choices can be balanced through the day and don’t have to be balanced all in a single big meal. If you eat so much that you have the physical sensation that you shouldn’t eat anymore, then you’ve overeaten. Eating small, nutritious meals or snacks keeps your metabolism revved up, and you’ll feel better keeping yourself on an even keel.

Get over the notion that not finishing food means you’re wasting it.
When you learn to listen to your body about when it’s had enough, you will find that you are often leaving food on your plate. Resist eating that last bit of food, whether it’s one bite or twenty. If you can’t save the food in the fridge for later, you absolutely must realize that putting it into your body when you don’t need it is far more of a waste than throwing it down the garbage disposal. Putting excess food in the disposal doesn’t hurt anything, but putting it into your body causes it to turn into fat and does not in any way accomplish anything positive. The money has already been spent; putting the food to a negative use is worse than throwing it away, and even the calories in that one extra bite add up over years.

I hope this is helpful. In essence, you can still have food that you love; just form habits that help you not eat too much of it.

I just got a thank-you note from Matt Sturges for the copyediting I did on his wonderful book Office of Shadow, forthcoming from Pyr, and thought I’d share:

Just finished reviewing your edit and wanted to tell you thanks for doing such a fine job. You made some really clever catches there, such as noticing that Silverdun’s alias changed from one place to the next. I never would have caught that in a million years. Great work. Thanks!

Matt’s was one of my first copyedits of 2010, and this is a lovely way to start the year. :)

Do any of you remember Atlanta Nights, the intentionally awful book written by a group of SF/F pros to prove that PublishAmerica would accept anything?

Some wonderful soul has done a complete dramatic reading of it, with each chapter posted to YouTube. Go listen to my so-horrid-it’s-hilarious chapter, and be sure to browse through Manwithoutabody’s channel to find your favorite. :-)

Paul Goat Allen has released his list of the best science fiction and fantasy novels of 2009, which you should all check out. I had the pleasure of copyediting two of the books on the list–Cherie Priest’s Boneshaker and Ken Scholes’ Canticle. I loved them both. I just finished copyediting Antiphon, the most recent book in Ken Scholes’ Psalms of Isaak series, today, and it definitely continues the richness of character and setting found in the preceding books. I know it’s mean to say when you guys have to wait for it, but I can tell you that you’ll love it. :) Congratulations to everyone on the list!